Time Heals... (with a little push from Milenyo)

"Time heals all wounds," they say and I should know...

From what song is that? I can sing it but I can't remember... If you do, leave me a comment, email me or something. Thanks...

It's funny to think now of how, only a year ago, I was such a drama queen. I was so melodramatic then, thinking how miserable my life had become.

I just had one my biggest heartbreak, barely a month after the retirement of my boss and "mommy / angel" in the office, and my best friend in the whole world was not talking to me. I couldn't talk to my other friends in the office because I felt that they were blaming ME for my heartbreak. My other friends all seemed unreachable (well, most of them are actually... they have migrated somewhere "greener"...). I was feeling so alone. And my work situation wasn't helping either. My other boss still hated me and my new department head couldn't care less. And to top it all, I was on extreme"panic-mode", thinking, "I'll be another year older in three months and I'm still single!!!"

I felt that I've come full circle only to end up back at square one. Nothing seemed to be going right in my life. About the only good thing that happened in my whole depression is that my weight went down to 114 lbs., the lightest I've ever weighed in my whole life. But that's another story... especially that I'm now back to my pre-depression weight... which isn't really a good thing... Haha...

It's exactly a year today, September 28, when Milenyo came and "cleared away the cobwebs and the sorrows" of my life back then... (Wow, that's from another song... from "Annie"... What's the title? Haha...)

Milenyo who? Super typhoon, Milenyo, that battered Manila and most parts of Luzon last year with winds of up to 100 kph. That day, schools in all level were cancelled. Before mid-day, offices were sent home too. Good for me that I never even got the chance to leave the house for office that morning because of the heavy rain. I was still feeling down and depressed and I almost welcomed the typhoon for giving me a reprieve from the tensions at work. I was prepared to just stay in bed all day and watch DVD. But by 8:00, the whole of Luzon was already blacked out. With no electricity, and basically nothing to do at home, I was prepared for boredom and a whole day of sulking all the more in my misery... Oh, boy, was I so wrong...

I should have seen it coming... how my day would be. Even before the lights went out, I was already busy sending and receiving SMS from the office, asking and confirming that work had been cancelled. After that, it was about making arrangements for stranded Japanese guests - calling hotels and airports and coordinating with our Mindanao plant. And then trying to find where my brother and brother-in-law also got stranded, as everywhere is flooded. Before I knew it, the eye of storm had already passed Manila and incredibly, I was feeling so much better. I've been talking on the phone the whole day and I've realized that I have related and talked more with people in the last few hours than I have in the last month.

The following day, I had the chance to go around Metro Manila and I got to see firsthand the wrath of Milenyo. But surprisingly, I felt light and good despite of the destruction around me. I was suddenly feeling optimistic and hopeful again.

That was the start of my healing... (I purposely emphasized that, in case you missed it.) I wish I could say, that was it... that, that day healed me instantly. No, it was just the start. It took a few months more before the hurting stopped. (I even had a depression relapse.) And a few months more before I started smiling with twinkling eyes again... and before I started laughing out loud again... and before I started singing and dancing again...

I'm happy now and I can say that I'm healed now... I'm whole again... but it took time... I guess, God meant it that way... So, that I'll treasure more what I have now... because it wasn't easy and it took time...

The song says it right... Time heals all wounds... and in my case, with a little push from Milenyo...

3900 Marbles = 3900 Saturdays

An officemate forwarded this to me just this morning. A very nice reminder about setting our priorities in life straight, about loving in the present, about not waiting to do later what we can do now...

Thanks, Apple, for sharing this. I'm not waiting for tomorrow to thank you for this and for all the other inspiring messages you send me. We may not be the closest in the office, but I promise... one of these days, we'll bond... before I ran out of marbles...

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you."

- Winnie the Pooh

The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings. Perhaps it's the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or maybe it's the unbounded joy of not having to be at work. Either way, the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable.
A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the garage with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What began as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time. Let me tell you about it...
I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net. Along the way, I came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a golden voice. You know the kind... He sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business. He was telling whom-ever he was talking with something about "a thousand marbles." I was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to say...
"Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job. I'm sure they pay you well but it's a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. It's too bad you missed your daughter's dance recital."
He continued... "Let me tell you something that has helped me keep my own priorities." And that's when he began to explain his theory of a "thousand marbles. "You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years. Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900, which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in his entire lifetime. Now, stick with me, Tom, I'm getting to the important part. It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail," he went on, "and by that time, I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays."
"I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy. So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended up having to visit three toy stores to round up 1000 marbles. I took them home and put them inside a large, clear plastic container right here in the shack next to my gear."
"Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it away. I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life. There is nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight."
"Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign-off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure that if I make it until next Saturday then I have been given a little extra time. And the one thing we can all use is a little more time."
"It was nice to meet you Tom, I hope you spend more time with your family, and I hope to meet you again here on the band. This is a 75 Year old Man, K9NZQ, clear and going QRT, good morning!"
You could have heard a pin drop on the band when this fellow signed off. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to work on the antenna that morning, and then I was going to meet up with a few hams to work on the next club newsletter. Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. "C'mon honey, I'm taking you and the kids to breakfast." "What brought this on?" she asked with a smile. "Oh, nothing special, it's just been a long time since we spent a Saturday together with the kids. And hey, can we stop at a toy store while we're out? I need to buy some marbles."

Before I Start Each Day...

It’s quiet. It’s early. The day is coming. For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day’s demands. It is now that I must make a choice. Because of Calvary , I’m free to choose. And so I choose.

I choose Love…
No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness.
I choose love. Today, I will love God and what God loves.
I choose Joy…
I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance.
I will refuse the temptation to be cynical… the tool of the lazy thinker.
I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God.
I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.
I choose Peace…
I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.
I choose Patience…
I will overlook the inconveniences of the world.
Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I’ll invite him to do so.
Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray.
Instead of clinching my fist at a new assignment, I will face them with joy and courage.
I choose Kindness…
I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone.
Kind to the rich, for they are afraid.
And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.
I choose Goodness…
I will go without a cent before I take a dishonest one.
I will be overlooked before I will boast.
I will confess before I will accuse.
I choose goodness.
I choose Faithfulnes…
Today I will keep my promises.
My debtors will not regret their trust.
My associates will not question my word.
My spouse will not question my love.
And my children will never fear that I will not come home.
I choose Gentleness…
Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle.
If I raise my voice may it be only in praise.
If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer.
If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.
I choose Self-Control…
I am a spiritual being…
After this body is dead, my spirit will soar.
I refuse to let what will rot rule the eternal.
I choose self-control.
I will be drunk only by joy.
I will be impassioned only by my faith.
I will be influenced only by God.
I will be taught only by Christ.
I choose self control.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control…
To these I commit my day.
If I succeed, I will give thanks.
If I fail, I will seek his grace.
And then, when this day is done,
I will place my head on my pillow and rest.

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by MAX LUCADO
When God Whispers Your Name