Friday, September 28, 2007

Time Heals... (with a little push from Milenyo)

"Time heals all wounds," they say and I should know...

From what song is that? I can sing it but I can't remember... If you do, leave me a comment, email me or something. Thanks...

It's funny to think now of how, only a year ago, I was such a drama queen. I was so melodramatic then, thinking how miserable my life had become.
I just had one my biggest heartbreak, barely a month after the retirement of my boss and "mommy / angel" in the office, and my best friend in the whole world was not talking to me. I couldn't talk to my other friends in the office because I felt that they were blaming ME for my heartbreak. My other friends all seemed unreachable (well, most of them are actually... they have migrated somewhere "greener"...). I was feeling so alone. And my work situation wasn't helping either. My other boss still hated me and my new department head couldn't care less. And to top it all, I was on extreme"panic-mode", thinking, "I'll be another year older in three months and I'm still single!!!"

I felt that I've come full circle only to end up back at square one. Nothing seemed to be going right in my life. About the only good thing that happened in my whole depression is that my weight went down to 114 lbs., the lightest I've ever weighed in my whole life. But that's another story... especially that I'm now back to my pre-depression weight... which isn't really a good thing... Haha...

It's exactly a year today, September 28, when Milenyo came and "cleared away the cobwebs and the sorrows" of my life back then... (Wow, that's from another song... from "Annie"... What's the title? Haha...)

Milenyo who? Super typhoon, Milenyo, that battered Manila and most parts of Luzon last year with winds of up to 100 kph. That day, schools in all level were cancelled. Before mid-day, offices were sent home too. Good for me that I never even got the chance to leave the house for office that morning because of the heavy rain. I was still feeling down and depressed and I almost welcomed the typhoon for giving me a reprieve from the tensions at work. I was prepared to just stay in bed all day and watch DVD. But by 8:00, the whole of Luzon was already blacked out. With no electricity, and basically nothing to do at home, I was prepared for boredom and a whole day of sulking all the more in my misery... Oh, boy, was I so wrong...

I should have seen it coming... how my day would be. Even before the lights went out, I was already busy sending and receiving SMS from the office, asking and confirming that work had been cancelled. After that, it was about making arrangements for stranded Japanese guests - calling hotels and airports and coordinating with our Mindanao plant. And then trying to find where my brother and brother-in-law also got stranded, as everywhere is flooded. Before I knew it, the eye of storm had already passed Manila and incredibly, I was feeling so much better. I've been talking on the phone the whole day and I've realized that I have related and talked more with people in the last few hours than I have in the last month.

The following day, I had the chance to go around Metro Manila and I got to see firsthand the wrath of Milenyo. But surprisingly, I felt light and good despite of the destruction around me. I was suddenly feeling optimistic and hopeful again.

That was the start of my healing... (I purposely emphasized that, in case you missed it.) I wish I could say, that was it... that, that day healed me instantly. No, it was just the start. It took a few months more before the hurting stopped. (I even had a depression relapse.) And a few months more before I started smiling with twinkling eyes again... and before I started laughing out loud again... and before I started singing and dancing again...

I'm happy now and I can say that I'm healed now... I'm whole again... but it took time... I guess, God meant it that way... So, that I'll treasure more what I have now... because it wasn't easy and it took time...

The song says it right... Time heals all wounds... and in my case, with a little push from Milenyo...